The Tucson Citizen
Baxter_Black
January 15, 2001
'The Conductor' type is 'moosic' to cattle-handlers' ears
CATTLE DISPOSITION CLASSIFICATION
My friend and farm broadcaster, Rich, alerted me to a new cattle-
handling procedure instituted by a group of Iowa feedlots. They
classify new cattle through the chutes by disposition.
They assume that gentler cattle perform better and that behavior
is hereditary, so a cattle-feeder could use the information to select
which cow-calf operations to buy calves from.
Their classification system scores 1 to 5 as follows:
1. Gentle, handles quietly, respiration may be slightly elevated.
2. More active, respiration elevated, settles down after rejoining
herd.
3. Constant movement, occasionally bumping into fences and gates,
etc.
4. Agitated by handling, prefers to avoid handlers, bumps into
fences and gates, always watching handlers.
5. Not only bounces off equipment but would prefer to run over
handlers and jump fences and gates.
Rich pointed out that handling cattle is a two-sided penny. He
said there should also be a classification system for disposition of
the handler. I agreed and thus propose the following, based loosely
on the seven dwarfs:
1. Sleepy: Not a good person to have on the head catch. Useful for
plugging holes. Think of as life-size cardboard cutout.
2. Dopey: Not necessarily unintelligent, just has exceedingly bad
judgment. Forgets basic rules like close tailgate or let implanter
finish before opening head gate. And will talk to a cedar post.
3. Grouchy: Unfortunately, usually in charge. Irritates cattle and
crew in an effort to speed things up. Disrupts everyone's rhythm and
timing resulting in regular breakdowns. Needs to be shoveling bunks .
. . alone.
4. Rambo: Overanxious, often new on the job. Catches every other
one, can hit a steer 14 times with a hot shot in the two seconds
between tailgate opening and first step. Better working with
inanimate objects.
5. The Conductor: Orchestrates the whole processing crew in a
beautifully coordinated symphony of pour-ons and powders, brandings
and vaccinations, tagging, implanting, daylight and darkness,
dehorning, debeaking, directing and cajoling. Is humane, efficient,
invaluable and underpaid. Easy to find . . . always the first one
there.
Baxter Black - philosopher, cowboy poet and former large animal
veterinarian - is an occasional contributor to National Public
Radio's Morning Edition, which airs from 5 to a.m. weekdays on KUAZ-
FM (.1) and KUAZ-AM (1550). He makes his home in Benson.
(C) 2001 The Tucson Citizen. via Bell&Howell Information and Learning Company; All Rights Reserved
